Man In The Mirror
by Meredith McGarrett
Summary: 8x09 Dark Was The Night Meredith/Derek [English Version of *Nightmare*]
1. Chapter 1

**Man In The Mirror**

* * *

**Victims of a sudden impact are some of the hardest to treat. It's not just the collision that injures them, it's everything after, the centrifugal force keeps them moving; tossing them from vehicles, throwing them through windshields, slamming their internal organs into the skeleton, their bodies are injured over and over again. So there's no way to know how much damage is actually been done until they stop. You can't prepare for a sudden impact. You can't brace yourself. It just hits you. Out of nowhere. And suddenly the life you knew before is over. Forever.** Meredith Grey; Suddenly

* * *

_Meredith and Alex were on the way back to Seattle Grace Hospital. The ride seemed to last forever. It was dark and it was raining. Suddenly the ambulance slowed down noticeable and stopped after a few metres. "What happened to the engine?" Meredith wanted to know when the ambulance suddenly stopped and the driver opened the doors. "Don't know, I already called for another unit. However, since we're in the middle of nowhere, it's probably gonna take forever. I'll put cones outside and run back to a store or something half a mile back." He suggests they get out of the ambulance."I recommend that they leave the ambulance. "It's full of oxygen tanks. You should get out of the damn rig. If the ambulance get hit this will blow up like the roman candles."_

_"But what about the baby? She'll die." Meredith exclaimed. "We can't do that, there is not even a place for incubator and look at the weather. There's no way we can go outside with the 'll die." That was Meredith, Alex nodded in affirmation. The paramedic replied: "Do you wanna all die? We're on a hill and in a curve and you better hope that people will see them." Alex and Meredith look at each other, deciding to not leave the baby._

* * *

_"We can't ..."_

_They can't understand them, the connection wasn't that good. In the OR it was perfectly quiet.  
_

_"... regulate her temp without the incubator." Alex said, his voice far away._

_"Swaddle her so that she stays warm." _

_Arizona tells them what to do._

_"They're sitting on a powder keg." That was Mark joining the upheated conversation about the well-being of two of their colleagues and family.  
_

_"What do you want them to do, flip a coin." Derek interjected, a bit snappy. He was worried, Meredith was in that ambulance. If they got hit, he didn't even want to think about it.  
_

_"At least one of them should get out." Mark suggested.  
_

_"We're not leaving the baby." Alex and Meredith heard everything they were talking about. And they don't want to leave the ambulance, not without the baby.  
_

_"Get out." Alex said, the phone still in his hand.  
_

_"Alex."_

_"There is no reason for both of us to get killed." He reasoned with Meredith-  
_

_"I am no safer in the middle of the damn road. If you wanna go, you go." Meredith objected._

_They were arguing about which one of them leaves._

_But before anyone could come to point everything happened in slow motion, at least it feels that way ..._

_... CRASH ..._

_Then there was a crash, silence followed in the OR as they lost the connection._

_Then Jackson entered the OR, the phone still in his hand._

_"Emergency Dispatch sent another embulance, helicopter wouldn't help, police are on their way, are we still on speaker?"_

* * *

"Get out!" Alex ordered, he had the phone still in his hand. "Alex!" Meredith cried in horror. "Get out, there is no reason that we both get killed in the process." Meredith stared at him blankly. "But it is just as dangerous as to be in the middle of the road. I am no safer there." "Meredith, go. Leave the damn car." He shouted. "Alex, if you want to go, then go. I will not let that you fight your feelings of guilt by sacrificing you and you die so that I ..." Meredith never got to finish the sentence, for this very second it happened.

Some car had hit the ambulance with full force. It was unexpected. The impact was hard.

Meredith was abruptly from the seat thrown on which they had to been sitting, slamming her head against the incubator and simultaneously trying to brace herself against the impact when she got smashed in the opposite side. Meredith bumps her head into the incubator before falling to the ground as well while supplies fly all over the place. Alex was also thrown from his seat. They had no control over things. The ambulance spun out, crashed into another thing in the process ...

He had no chance to react, it just hit him out of nowhere.

He hit his head against a side door. A lot of material was thrown from his seat, it flew across the wildly fluctuating ambulance, the lights flickered wildly. Alex and Meredith were desperately trying to cling somewhere, to get a hold. "The baby." Alex yelled somewhere far in the distance, at least it was, what Meredith felt at that moment. Meredith was ejected from the impact back on the seat and then she finally came up on the ground. But the descent was not yet over, now it really started. The ambulance crashed slowly stumbling toward the flank of the hill and was finally stopped by a tree.

Then an impact and then silence. Only two seemingly unconscious figures were lying in the ambulance.

* * *

Derek, Arizona and Mark heard the bang, then the connection is lost. It just beeped. There was no signal. The line went dead. Dead. Shepherd, Robbins and Sloan stood as if paralyzed. Shocked, he stared into space. This could only mean that something happened to them, and nothing good: Someone crashed in the ambulance and it will most likely explode.

The only sound was the soft whistle of the ventilator.

Derek could not believe what he just heard.

He can't lose Meredith now, he can't. They just got back together. This can't be how they end.

He hoped that Meredith and Karev were still alive and they were unharmed. Meredith. Even if they both had made mistakes lately, he loved her and he was worried. He absently looked straight ahead. To look at the phone directed. Tut. Tut. Tut. Tut.

Jackson entered the operating room. "I justgot off the phone with emergency dispatch. They sent a replacement ambulance. It's on the way now but because of the storm it can take long before it arrives. The police are on the move, the helicopter would have needed any longer. Are we still connected with them or not, "Arizona said:" We have spoken with them, then there was a loud bang and now they're gone." She swallowed. "Avery." Mark said slowly, not taking his eyes of the neurosurgeon.

Derek couldn't think clearly. Everything was blurry. He still had a scapel in his hand. Mark and Arizona are both looking at him worriedly.

"Dr. Shepherd now puts his tools back and leaves the OR. The hard part is over, we guide you through the rest." Mark slowly said, watching his friend's features. He saw his face expression showing sheer disbelief and worry. As if he couldn't believe that this was happening again. Why does this always reiterate? Wasn't Callie's and Arizona's car crash enough? Why also Meredith and Alex and a baby? A newborn baby? The world just wasn't fair.

Jackson nodded without many words. "Derek," he urged his friend. Derek was like frozen, then he put the tools back and the head lamp he also decreased He tossed the gown in the garbage and left the operating room.

* * *

The ambulance finally came to a halt. It was below the road. Meredith had lost consciuousness due to the hard impact and the injuries. Alex sat up, squinting for a slight moment, trying to remember where he was and why it was so quiet. Alex was luckier than Meredith. He appeared to be unhurt, except for a bleeding laceration nothing had happened to him. The baby also excaped the accident unscathed. Only Meredith was hurt, she was lying face down on the ground, not moving. "Mer. Answer me."

There was no reply coming from her. She seemed to have caught the worst it, Alex realized in horror.

She was unconscious, had numerous cuts spread across the blood-covered face.

"Shit, damn." Alex yelled. This was bad. "Damn, Meredith." He had to get her out of danger, she and the baby. First the baby. He took the baby in his arms, disconnected it from the antibiotics and wrapped the baby in a blanket and took the bag with the infusion solution. It would have work like that, he glanced at Meredith before he stepped out of the ambulance, in his arms the baby and the oxygen tanks for the baby.

He opened the rear doors and stepped out in the rain. It was still raining which made the situation a whole lot worse than it already was.

Alex left the ambulance, the baby in his arms, Meredith still inside the ambulance. It was more than risky but the patient comes first. And stood there, shell-shocked. A crashed van, dead people lying on the street. Glass was shattered into hundreds of pieces. Then he heard someone climbing out of the van. A young girl, about sixteen. She stared at her dead relatives and then over to Alex.

"Why aren't you helping them, you are a doctor." She cried out. Alex felt his heart beat hollowly in the chest.

"Take the baby." He said. "What, no I can't." She stammered wide-eyed.

"You have to, listen, my friend is still in there and she's alive but not awake. I need to get her. There are oxygen tanks in there, it will explode. I will help your family as soon as I have her stabilized." Alex looked over to the blinking lights of the ambulance, then to the totalled van. "But I have blood on my shoe." The girl looked at her shoe that was covered in blood, she didn't seem to have realized what Alex had said. "You're in shock." Alex said, he felt sorry for the girl but he also worried about Meredith, how she can hold on without proper medical attention.

Alex decided to check on the girl's relatives, feeling for a pulse. The sister had one, it was faint but still there. He needed to get her to side of the road. Also, her brother was alive. But the parents and the grandmother was dead. They were DOA. Dead on arrival. The poor girl, she would never forget this.

"My parents and my grandmother are dead?"

Alex nodded in reply.

Lilly just stared at him in pure shock. "I know it's hard but you can't break down now. Your siblings, they are alive. Watch their breathing and bag the baby. One, two, squeeze. You can do it." "Lilly, is's Lilly." The girl told him, her cheeks tear-rimmed. "You can do it, Lilly. One, two and then squeeze. Count loudly so that I can hear you." Alex said reassuringly. Then he made his way over to the ambulance.

"Wait where are you going?" The girl called out, frightened. He sprinted back to the ambulance as the call of the girl stopped him.

Alex turned around and answered: "I need to check on Meredith, she's still in there." He pointed toward the ambulance whose front was held at its place a tree that was preventing the ambulance from rolling, only the back wheels were still touching asphalt. The rest of the car was in a tilt. He just hoped the replacement ambulance would be here sooner rather than later.

He had a bad feeling. That the tree wouldn't be able to take it anymore and gives way.

He rushed back to the ambulance that was still on the curve threatening to fall over the edge into nothing, calling Meredith's name frantically, hoping she was now awake and response. But there was nothing. She was still the way he had left her. He had to get her out of there.

The place was full of rubble, the rear lights blinked yet. The laceration on her head was yet bleeding profusely.

The front part was completely crushed. He checked her pulse and respiration. Weak, but ok. Pulse was faint as well. "I need a monitor." He muttered, and looked for the supplies, they needed to get out of there before something happens.

There were more injuries below the surface, he was sure of that. They needed to check that when they were in the hospital.

"No, no, no. That can not be true."

"Hey." Meredith whispered, who became slowly more and more aware of what was happening around her, even if she was still pretty out of it. Alex turned around when he heard the weak word coming from Meredith.

"Meredith, you're back. Thank God." Alex exclaimed. "You had me worried."

"'m sorry." She got out, had talking always been that difficult? She didn't feel any pain but that was probably just because she was in shock and therefore she didn't really feel the extent of her injuries.

"Where are we?" She asked. "In the ambulance. I need to get you out of here, this rig is full of oxygen tanks ..."

"... that can explode and we will blow up." Meredith finished his sentence.

Alex picked her up and carried her outside. Then after a look at Meredith he knew he needed something to monitor her. A cardiac monitor - they had one in the ambulance. He needed to get that one. He laid Meredith down, whispered a quick 'I'll be right back.' Meredith only nodded weakly, trying to breathe equally. Alex hurried, rummaging through the ambulance. Finally he got what he wanted. Then he came back with a portable monitor and ECG leads and electrodes. He connected her with it, now able to monitor her heartbeat and blood pressure which wasn't real good.

Then Alex desperately tried to explore the extent of her injuries.

"What happened?" Meredith wanted to know, her voice hoarse and raspy. She made an effort to even talk.

Alex cleared his throat. "We've had an accident, our ambulance was stuck on the 2 in the middle of the storm. Then some idiot crashed into us and we are trapped on the road, we need to get away from here. I hope that Arizona has a sent spare-ambulance." Alex laughed nervously.

"How are you feeling?" Was his next question.

Meredith never got the chance to answer Alex's question. Her breathing shallowed out over the next minutes and she she had trouble staying awake.

"Ow." Meredith coughed. "You okay?" Meredith could not answer, she coughed up blood. "Shit, damn, Meredith, stay calm." She nodded.

It was cold, and very dark.

The perfect situation for everything going wrong.

"Breathe. Breathe calmly." Alex was on the verge of panicking but he knew he needed to stay calm in this situation.

Shortly thereafter, she lost consciousness again and the monitor sounded the alarm. Cardiac arrest. Flatline. He made her chest free and began with cardiopulmonary resuscitation. "Meredith, please do not do this to me." Alex did CPR on her like crazy. After a few minutes a heartbeat reappeared on the monitor. He may needs to intubate but here's the thing.

It's just too risky, since they only have ET tubes and laryngoscopes _in _the ambulance. Why hadn't they thought about that in the first place.

Sinus rhythm.

He got her back. The baby and the girl and the her sister and brother - he needed to check on them."Hold on, Mer, I'll be right back." Alex said to the uncounscious stabilizing her by positioning her in the recovery position he went to check on the other he should look for a thermal blanket for Meredith, to help regulate her temp. To avoid hypothermia since he had no idea how long search and rescue's gonna need.

* * *

Arizona, Mark, Jackson and had finished the surgery. Derek leaned against the wall opposite the ORs and looked again nervously on his pager. On his cell phone in the hope that Meredith could have tried to call him. Nothing. There were no calls, no missed calls. Meredith hadn't called him. That doesn't have to mean anything, she can still be okay, Derek tried to tell himself but he didn't believed it.

The universe had screwed with them too many times.

All his hopes shattered in little pieces. Why does life keep doing this to them? Why?

"Derek." Suddenly a voice said his name. He looked up, seeing Hunt. "What are you doing there? Weren't you operating on that boy who mauled by a dog?" Derek looked up, despair in his eyes.

"They got hit." He said.

Now he had Owen Hunt's undivided attention. "Who's they?" He asked. "Meredith, Karev and a baby they were supposed to bring here for getting treated properly. And now they are dying because of that. Damn it." He shook his head. This has to be a really bad dream, a really bad one. Except it wasn't.

"This is just great, Teddy's husband just died in Cristina's OR, she'll never forgive me, neither of them will. And now you're saying tow of our surgeons are missing? This can't be true. Are they on the phone with emergency dispatch?"

"Avery was. He is now finishing up my part of the surgery since the tricky part is over and I am in no condition to operate. You have to tell Cristina."

"Can't. She's in OR 2, operating on Laura Lewis. Pedicle screw penetrated and teared her ventricle. They're about to put her on bypass." Owen said, dismissed him. "But there's something you gotta do. I mean, Cristina has a right to come to know what has happened. It has a great affect on both of our lives. You can't not tell her."

"I am chief of surgery and I call the shots. And you can't tell her, she'll storm out of that OR and without her and Teddy that woman dies. Do you want to be responsible for that?"

"No." Derek ran his hand over his face- "What if Mer's dead?"

"She isn't." Owen said, trying to be supportive. Helpful. He hated this. He needs to tell Teddy Altman about the death of her husband. That's his job and he knows she'll never forgive him for doing that to him. This was an awful situation.

* * *

_Cristina sees Meredith sitting on the gurney, glancing at her phone. Cristina asks the question:__ "What did Janet say? Meredith?" Meredith answered with sadness in her voice: "We're not getting her back." Cristina didn't know what to say: "What do you mean? What exactly did she say?" Meredith said in tears: "That we're not getting her back." _

_Cristina looked at her person, couldn't believe what she was saying: "She said that?" Meredith answered: "She said that the court cancelled our hearing date, and when they do that, it means either one or two things. Either they look at our file and they love us and they're giving her to us, in which case they call Janet and they tell her that. Or... that they hate us and they're giving her to another family. And she didn't get the 'I love us' call." Cristina: "Well, maybe they didn't get around to it." She tried to cheer Meredith up but failed. _

_Meredith shook her head: "She said that we should move on. That's what she said. You wanna know her exact words, were, 'I think it's time that you and Derek start thinking about moving on.'" "Oh, how can they do that to you." Cristina said, shocked._

_"Alex, you need to prep the ambulance for a neonatal transport. And take someone ith you. Hey, Grey." Arizina called over to Meredith who was still sitting on the gurney. "I am waiting for Derek." "Make it fast. A newborn's life is hanging in the balance. Come on." Meredith jumped up from they gurney and made her way over to the ambulance. She talked to Derek for a few seconds before the ambulance set off to the roads._

* * *

_"Zola was our baby and she's gone. And I don't want another baby." Meredith said before she entered the ambulance that should bring her and Alex to Bentley Hospital to pick up a baby __and bring it back to this hospital so Arizona can treat it. _

_Derek didn't know that this might be last time he sees his wife alive._

* * *

_Derek starts confiding in Cristina: "Meredith didn't want kids. I pushed her... She opened herself up. Now I feel like I... I did this to her." Cristina answered reassuringly: "She wanted it, too. Or it wouldn't have happened." Derek answered helplessly: "She'll blame me... like I've been blaming her. We lost Zola and now if I lose Meredith..." He sounded desperate. Cristina smiled reassuringly: "She always comes back. She might need a minute to back away, but... she comes back." Derek looked after when she left._

* * *

Then Arizona came out of surgery. They had finished the surgery. The kid was on his way up to pediatric Intensive Care Unit, being monitored. "Have heard of them?" She asked, pulling of her scrub cap. "No." Derek said resignated. "Damn. We have to do something." She replied, worried. Worried about her colleagues and friends. "Yes, but what?"

"We have radio contact with the spare ambulance, perhaps, they know something specific." Arizona suggested. "What if they are not found? The car slid into the abyss and is completely destroyed?" Derek was desperate. Meredith can't be that injured, right? That isn't possible. He had all these worstcase scenarios in his mind although he didn't even know what the actual situation was.

He was worried.

They've lost Zola.

Now he is losing Meredith too.

Not as in her leaving him for good.

As in dying.

As in her heart stopping to beat.

This was a nightmare.

"I'm trying to reach Meredith." He dialed her number. He speeddialed it, hoping she would answer, she can't no answer. He stared at the phone, hoping this was just a nightmare he would wake up from. After some beeping, Alex Karev answered it. Relief flooded through his veins that at least one made it out alive. He hoped Meredith was okay too.

"Meredith?" Derek asked,hope in his voice.

"Derek, is that you?" The voice asked, the connection wasn't good, the line crackled. "Yeah, it's me, Arizona, Mark and Owen. How are you?"

"No, it's me, Alex. Look, someone crashed into us, we are off the road, we're in a ..." No one could understand what he was saying. "Put on speaker." Demands Arizona. A noise was heard. "Alex, you are still there?" "Yes, when does the replacement come and get us, I mean we really need it, here's another kid with shard of glass in her eye. She needs surgery as well as her brother." Arizona and Derek exchanged a worried look. But he hadn't said anything about Meredith. Mark and Jackson also came out of surgery.

"Are you hurt? How's the baby?" Arizona asked. "What about Meredith?" Derek cut her off. Silence. At the end of the line someone clear their throat. "The baby is alive." Alex said, glancing concernedly over to Mer who had her eyes closed.

"Hey don't sleep, stay awake, Mer." He said, shielding the receiver with his hand. She nodded weakly, trying to stay awake.

"The baby's unharmed, she's good although she started to develop pneumonia. There are three kids from the car that crashed into us, they're alive but we also have three DOAs. I am okay ..." He said, leaving one person out.

Three DOAs. That could mean Meredith was one of them.

No, Meredith can't be dead.

"How is Dr. Grey, Karev?" Derek waited nervously for his answer. No answer. Derek was fearing the worst. "Meredith?" He asked.

Before Alex could answer, Derek heard some noise in the background. Heavy breathing, a few painful coughs and a reassuring voice. Alex was talking to Meredith, while covering the receiver of the phone so that Derek couln't hear what he said but from what he heard it doesn't sound all too good: "Hey, I know it hurts but you gotta pull through, Mer. Derek's on the phone. He'll be here soon."

Derek felt his heart beat havily in his chest. "I love you Mer." He called through the phone, gripping it tightly.

"What is about Dr. Grey, Karev?" Derek asked, fearing the worst and hoping for the best.

"She ..." He got no further, the ambulance skidded toward her.

"What's happened, Alex answer."

Rubble and boulders rolling down dull down the slope. "Damn, we need to get away from here." Alex responded.

The girl looked up in panic, registering what was happening. "Oh, god." She shuddered, when seeing the ambulance skidding toward Meredith and ...

"Just squeeze and count." Alex' voice sounded far away. This was not good. Stunned, Alex saw the ambulance losing halt and falling onward. And dragging Meredith down with it. "Noo." He screamed loudly. His breath hitched. No. Then there was a bang, the ambulance had hit ground a few metres lower. But where was Meredith, why hadn't he thought about a safer place for her?

"Meredith." He said.

God, he was officially an idiot.

Also, the phone went dead.

He needs to look for Meredith, he has to find her.

It happened within seconds.

He was looking for his colleague, but he could never find it. The moment he heard sirens from above. He climbed up the slope with the baby, went missing and slipped. After a few meters he lay. The baby was his first thought. It lived, and was, thank God, unharmed. Once again, he started a try and this time he climbed the hill without contacting and slipping fail. He ran off into the dark street.

The car would not be seeing him soon enough.

Behind the curve he saw flickering lights. He stood in the middle of the street with raised arms, hoping that they would see him and waved his arms over his head to signal that they should stop.

"Stop." He called as loud as he could although he knew they wouldn't be able to hear him.

The lights came closer, the replacement ambulance turned the corner and stopped with screeching brakes, lights rotated silently over the trees. The hazard warning lights were turned on, a paramedic jumped out.

"What do we have?" Another professional asked him, eyeing him. "The baby needs to be treated quickly." Alex explained the whole situation. "What about the other doctor who was with in the ambulance?"

_Meredith._

"She's missing, got dragged down by the ambulance." Alex answered. The medic nodded and took radio contact with the Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital on: "What we need here is a medical team on the 2." It roared and crackled in the line. Alex needed them to start searching for Meredith. She was missing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Alex needed them to start searching for Meredith. She was missing. But at least help was there.

* * *

"Okay, I'll send a medical team to the accident."

He paged Shepherd, Robbins and Bailey and waited for them prior to the emergency room. There was an an ambulance waiting for to take them to the scene.

"On the 2 an accident has happened I have no precise information on what happened, only instructions. You are my rescue team that is going to be send to the scene, okay?" Richard did not wait for an answer.

"Grey and Karev have been in that ambulance."

"Oh, no. Not that too." "What could in turn mean that Grey and Karev and the baby are the ones who ..." Arizona's voice trembled. She didn't finish the sentence, she didn't have to. "No, not Meredith ..." Derek muttered to himself. That was history repeating itself. "Get in here, Shepherd. Move it." Bailey told him to get it together and stop holding them up.

"Coming." Derek answered, his heart was beating erratically in his chest. After a while, no one said a word, the RTW stopped with a jerk. They've arrived on the scene. They were there. Derek was the first one who reacted. He reached for the door and opened it. He had to get to Meredith.

She could have a brain bleed. She could be dying in this very second.

He'd wasted so much time on being angry with her, he'd all take it back right now. Now that Meredith was possibly seriously injured. It was like he was living a life that was not supposed to be his, this is not how they are supposed to end.

_She always comes back. She will need a moment or two to back away but she'll always will come back._

As Dr. Bailey, Dr. Shepherd and Robbins got out, they were greeted by blinking lights and people that spoke into phones, ambulances and of course, Search and Rescue. Oh my god." Derek got out as he got view of the totalled ambulance. This was not good at all. a policeman came up to her.

"What happened here?" "An ambulance was rammed and slipped into the abyss, initially only a few feet, then he is probably still slipped further and has swept the second doctor in RTW."

"Okay, where can we help?"

"There's a newborn, a doctor is with him." Arizona ran off to another ambulance.

As she got closer, she saw Karev with the baby. "Alex." "Dr. Robbins, we need an ambulance that is equipped for a neonatal transport, the little one needs to be in an incubator." Alex said as he saw the blonde pediatric surgeon. "Karev, it's going to be okay." "Nothing is okay. Meredith is missing, I do not even know if she's still alive. Although there are several search and rescue people looking for her but ... time is running out." Alex rambled. His pulse raced.

"I'll take the case." Arizona said firmly. She was there to take the baby. Alex needed to get himself checked for any internal injuries. "No, that's my case." "Karev, be reasonable. You've just survived a serious accident, your friend and colleague is missing, thus: My answer is no. I'll take the case."

Alex Karev looked at his surperior for a moment, then he said, obviously in shock: "She coded before. She ..." Arizona Robbins looked up when she heard him saying that. "Who? Alex, who are you talking about?" Arizona pressed for more information. "The baby, are you talking about her?" She asked. Alex shook his head.

"She's probably got aspiration pneumonia since we had to disconnect her from the antibiotics." Arizona was more and more confused and worried about Alex. He should definitely get a head CT to make sure they don't miss anything.

Who was he talking about?

"Alex, slow down. Now tell me who are you talking about?"

"Meredith. She coded. I am ruining her whole life. Now she is going to die because I wasn't fast enough to get her to safer ground. It's all my fault." Alex was blaming himself for the whole situation.

* * *

The search teams searched through the area with flashlights.

Derek was also searching with them, because the missing person was Meredith Grey. His wife. This was a very bad nightmare he wanted to escape from.

"Mereedith ... Meredith, where are you? Meredith? "Derek shouted again and again. Desperately he shone from the forest, hoping to find her. Finally, he found her. Unconscious, blood-smeared face, trapped under a piece of wreckage.

"Meredith? Do you hear me?" he asked aloud, hoping she would respond.

All his medical knowledge suddenly disappeared. "Derek?" She mumbled inaudibly. "Meredith, hold on, help is here. You will be healthy again, do you hear me?" Meredith spat blood. This was not good. She needed to get to a hospital with proper medical resources and an operating room on the ready.

"Just ... hold on, Meredith. I love you more than anything. So please, don't give up on me now."

He called loudly towards rescue team, "You need to get here, quickly. I have found her, condition's critical." The rescue team came running, bringing emergency kits and intubation trays with them." We have to get her out now or she ..." Derek was desperate, so he personally tried to free Meredith.

The fire department was now also arrived, they pulled Derek away from Meredith and started to free her.

They freed Meredith from the wreckage. "So we're done here, she's out." Bailey came as she saw that they found someone, someone she knew very good. A look at Shepherd's face and she knew immediately who the patient was. "What do we have?" She asked routinely, did not show what this was like to her.

"Meredith Grey, multiple trauma, trapped under a piece of wreckage that has swept, severe internal injuries, also said the other doctor that they before it was swept away, had a cardiac arrest. " "We need a stretcher." Dr. Bailey exclaimed and checked the pulse and respiration.

"Quick, hurry." The paramedics came running with a stretcher. "Derek, get out of the way. You can not help her now anyway." Derek knew she was right but he wanted to stay with Meredith. "Yes, but ..." He started protesting. "Out of the way now." Dr. Bailey and the paramedics ran with the stretcher past him. He was frozen.

* * *

**In Seattle:**

Janet knocked on Meredith Grey's frontdoor, no one opened the door. In her arms, there was baby Zola. She looked through the glass, there was no one there. She would have to drive to the hospital to meet in the hope there on Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd. Janet went with Zola on the way to Seattle Grace Mercy West.

In the hall she asked for Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey.

The nurse at the front desk said: "Grey and Shepherd are not here. I am sorry." Janet sighed but stayed patient. "Are they working today?" She asked. Zola was babbling some incoherent words.

"Yes I'll look, give me a sec. Yes, they do. Both Grey and Shepherd work today. But where they are stuck on some road. Karev and Grey were doing a baby run I think and something happened, I do not know. I let Richard Webber know, maybe he can tell you more about their current location." Dr. Webber entered the hall.

"I'm Dr. Webber. How can I help you?" He asked. Wasn't this the social worker on Zola's case?! It seemed like her.

Since she had Zola on her arm.

"I'm looking for Grey and Shepherd." Janet explained. "Shepherd is not here, there was an accident and he was sent to the scene. As for Meredith Grey, I have no word. But they were doing a baby run and ..." Janet was irritated. Both doctors were apparently gone. "I do not understand."

"Grey's doing a baby run with Karev to a local hospital to bring a baby to Seattle Grace. They should be back by now but I have not heard from her nor Karev. I am sorry they are both not here." The moment the phone rang. "In the apparatus Dr. Webber. With whom am I speaking?" He asked. "Dr. Shepherd is speaking." That was Derek's voice that was greeting him. "Ah, very good. It's about Zola." Richard Webber waited for his reaction but doesn't have to wait very long.

"Did something happen to her? Oh, please that can't be." Derek sounded scared.

"No, that's not it. What is it, Shepherd?"

"There was an accident involving an ambulance on the 2, the ambulance that should pick up a baby. It was them, Richard. Meredith and Karev. Prepare before a trauma room before they get here. We'll be there in 10 minutes." Derek quickly explained the situation. He was very worried about Meredith.

"An accident with an ambulance? "How many are injured?" "Karev and the baby are unharmed. Meredith is the only one who has sustained the most injuries." Dr. Webber muttered shocked: "... Damn it, Meredith." "Is something going with Grey and Shepherd?" Janet asked. "Grey had an accident, I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Webber hurried away, leaving a shocked Janet standing there.

* * *

Owen was waiting for Teddy Altman and Cristina Yang to finish the surgery- he had to tell them. About Henry dying and Meredith being seriously injured and now on her way to Seattle Grace. Cristina didn't know anything about her friend being injured in an ambulance versus car - accident.

She had no idea.

Laura had a flail mitral valve. There was unexpected fibrosis, which complicated things. Teddy decided to do an ex vivo repair. After they finished the repair, they re-implanted her heart. "So, it looks like we're finished here, Yang." Teddy said and smiled under her mask. She was looking forward to see Henry.

She didn't know that he was gone.

Forever.

Cristina told her that when they were scrubbing out. She'd been standing there for hours, joking and operating while Henry was dead and she didn't know.

/

"Where's Teddy?" He asked.

"I don't know" Cristina didn't want to talk. She couldn't believe that she actually killed her mentor's husband- Owen looked at her in shock. "Wait. You told her?" He asked her. Cristina looked at him and answered: "Of course I did." "You shoulda let me. I should've been the one ..."

Cristina scoffed.

This has to be some kind of sick joke.

"Oh, my God. This is not about you. Who cares who told her? Okay, I told her, because you made me stand there and talk and joke and lie to her for hours. For hours."

"I am sorry. I had to..." "No, I know, I know. I don't wanna hear it. And neither will she." With that, Cristina wanted to leave but Owen wouldn't let her.

"Cristina wait." He said.

Cristina turned around, facing the trauma surgeon. "There is something else." For another time, their world shattered into little pieces. This was a bad day a really bad day.

"What? Just say it." Cristina begged practically. She couldn't handle any other bad news right now.

"It's Meredith. There's been an accident. Bailey's operating on her right now." Owen told her straight out. Cristina just stared at him in pure shock. This was hell. Physical, actual hell. Her life was crumbling around her and there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn't save Henry. She can't save Meredith ...

And so she ran, wanting to find Derek.

To wait with him for Meredith.

* * *

Derek sat in the back along with Dr. Bailey in the ambulance. He was riding in Meredith's ambulance. He was worried sick about her. This was not how it was supposed to go. They were supposed to get Zola back and live their lives. The Alzheimer's trial was a thing of the past. "How long are we out?"

"10 minutes."

"Oh Crap. Why is this happening again? And why only we? First they take Zola away and now Meredith is seriously injured. Why can not we just be happy some times? Why not? "Derek was not like his old self, he constantly watched Meredith's numbers on the monitor. He had no idea why all this always happened. He just does not get it.

He glanced at the monitor. Her vital signs remained stable fortunately.

"Just about 5 minutes." The driver shouted. "Okay." Derek replied. "How many minutes are we out?" She called out, "Approximately three minutes to Seattle Grace." The moment the monitor began to go off. "V - fib," Dr. Bailey exclaimed loudly. "Defi. Fast. Move it."

She pressed the paddles on Meredith's chest and yelled: "Clear."

Meredith's body jerked up.

But there was no detectable rhythm. Derek couldn't believe it. After trying again, they got her back. Finally. "We got her back." Bailey announced as she saw the sinus brady on the monitor. Derek covered his face with his hands- he had come this close to losing Meredith forever.

* * *

A trauma team waited outside the emergency room at the ambulance. It consisted of Dr. Webber, Dr. Torres, Dr. Grey, Dr. Hunt, Dr. Avery, Dr. Sloan and Dr. Kepner. "What do we have?" Lexie asked as the rear doors opened. "Grey, go and prepare an trauma room. Now. You'll be here in five minutes."

After Lexie was gone, Dr. Webber said: "It is Meredith."

"How bad?" Dr. Webber did not answer. That was enough, it was answer enough.

Lexie came back out and said, "The trauma room ready." Dr. Webber glanced at the young doctor who had no idea. Then the ambulance drove up with howling siren and stopped with screeching brakes in the emergency room. A paramedic jumped out of the car and opened the rear doors. Derek climbed out of the ambulance. Lexie froze.

"It's Meredith." She whispered in shock. "Grey, leave." Ordered Dr. Owen Hunt.

Lexie abruptly turned and disappeared into Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. In complete desperation she wandered through the aisles, she didn't pay attention to anything around her. She did not even notice that she stood in the waiting room, let alone how she got here. She sat stunned on one of the seats and stared at the wall.

She felt helpless, wished Mark were here.

Moment, Mark? Mark? Why Mark? Now Lexie was confused.

She thought she was done with Mark, he was with Julia Canner from the Seattle Presbyterian. A voice ripped her from her overwhelming thoughts.

"Hey, aren't you the sister of Dr. Grey?" Lexie wiped the tears from her eyes and looked up.

She nodded. "Can you page? Dr. Grey, I mean? And Shepherd?" Lexie saw the woman dumbfounded and eventually started laughing hysterically and could not stop. The woman looked at her weird.

"Is everything okay with you?" "Am I okay? Lexie repeating, wiping away a single tear. She began to laugh again. "Of course. I am just great. It's just that my sister was seriously injured and is now on her way to the OR. Otherwise, I'm fine. "Suddenly, Lexie's voice changed: "OF COURSE I AM NOT OKAy. How could I?"

"Are you the sister of Meredith Grey?" She repeated her question. "Yes, damn it. What do you want from me?"

Only then did Lexie that the strange woman was Janet.

She held Zola on his arm. "You are the social worker who took Zola away." Janet nodded.

"That's right. But I'm here to bring them back."

"Changes Meredith's accident something about it?" Lexie asked, hoping her sister would pull through so she can see Zola- that she was theirs. "No. Can you page Derek for me?" Janet asked politely.

Lexie nodded and fumbled the pager from his pocket and beeped Derek.

* * *

They started the surgery as soon as the anesthesiologist had put Meredith under. Her status has always been critical since they've arrived at Seattle Grace. „Why can't I locate where this bleeder comes from?" Bailey calls out, worriedly. This was not good, not good at all. She has to stay calm. This was one of their own. She can't freak out now.

She couldn't believe that she is operating on Meredith Grey, although this was the first time because she was in the need of an emergency surgery (in an actual OR). Why does Meredith always have that bad luck? How can that be? "Where does all this all blood come from? This can't be happening … "Grey, don't you dare cop on me now, Grey." She mumbled as she feebly worked to save her friend's and colleague's life.

She tried to identify the source of that bleeding. Meredith can't be bleeding that much without a proper source. "Come on, come on, don't do you dare doing this." She conjured the unconscious Meredith who probably couldn't even hear her. But it was worth a try.

"Damn, I need more hands. Page Hunt. I need every help I can possibly get. If he's not available, page Webber now." Bailey's voice sounds alarmed and serious. "Right away, doctor." The OR nurse answered and reached for the phone to page Hunt now. This was really bad, really, really bad. But she couldn't help it.

"Damn it." Bailey muttered. There was blood, a lot of it.

"She loses too much blood." She said.

"We need blood units of blood group AB neg. And that fast." A nurse nodded and reached for the phone. She dialed the hospital's blood bank and spoke frantically into the phone: "We need four units of blood group AB in OR 1." Meredith lost more and more blood. "Where is the damn blood?" Dr. Bailey struggled to locate the source of bleeding. Finally they had found the source. It was a tiny crack in the renal pelvic artery.

Meanwhile, the blood was also there. They started to transfuse. In this moment, Owen Hunt enters the OR. "Fill me in of her condition." "I need more hands in here." Bailey says without looking up. After a few more hours they were able to close her up. But it had been difficult the whole way through. She'd coded for another time, shortly before closing up. Her heart wasn't able to take the pressure.

Now they were on their way to inform Derek and Lexie and Cristina.

* * *

When he came into the waiting room, he could not believe his eyes.

There were Lexie and Janet, both talking. Janet talked to Lexie and she had Zola in her arms. In Derek germinated on a tiny hope that he and Meredith would get their girl back. But he could not rejoice. As well as. Mer was seriously injured and was in the emergency room of Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital.

Janet got up as soon as she saw Derek and came over to Derek.

"Dr. Shepherd, she is yours now." She said and handed him the little Zola and her things. Zola seemed to remember her daddy. Derek looked at her in surprise. "I hope she pulls through. Good luck." Janet said and left the hospital quickly. Derek stood there with a baby in his arms. He could not believe it.

The universe really is random and mean.

It was always them- always.

He sat down on a chair and waited. Zola was in his lap, sleeping soundly. "Let's just hope your Mama pulls through ..." Derek whispered.

Dr. Bailey and the other surgeons just finished the operation of Meredith Grey. She was taken to the Intensive Care Unit and Dr. Bailey was on his way to tell Derek and Lexie about the successful surgery. They've completed the procedure successfully. Of course, only time would tell but she made it through the surgery.

Now they just have to wait until Meredith wakes up. Dr. Bailey was hardly out of the operating room, she saw Derek before the surgical plan impatiently running back and forth.

He seemed worried and nervous. Anxious about what might be.

Dr. Bailey ran quickly toward him. As Dr. Derek Bailey saw coming towards him, he ran up to her and looked at her hopefully. Dr. Bailey smiled and said. "The surgery went well Meredith is now in ICU." Derek instantly breathed in in relief and hugged Bailey, this returned the hug.

Cristina smiled and Lexie and Mark were there too. They shared a glance before smiling when hearing this.

Shortly thereafter, Derek asked, "Can I see Meredith?"

"Yes. You can see her." Dr. Bailey answered the neurosurgeon's question. The other doctors were now also come out of surgery and held back discreetly. "I'll take you now to Meredith. But be prepared she is still intubated."She warned him.

**This is forever. Their forever that they still get to live.**

Derek nodded and together they made their way to Meredith's room.

There, Dr. Bailey left Derek alone. She watched him, as he sat down next to her bed to a chair and reached for her hand. This he pressed lightly. Gently stroked Derek Meredith a tear hair out of her face.

Derek presses her hand gently and watches her breathe. It's all he can do for now.

But she's alive. And sometimes that's all that really matters ...

She'll wake up ... she will. He was sure of that, he was keeping the faith.

_Three days later:_

Meredith had woken up which was a relief for all of them- all had been very worried about her. Also, Lexie and Mark finally realized they are meant to be together. Meredith's accident has given them the perspective they needed- Cristina and Alex had been really worried too.

They visited as often as possible as did Lexie. Derek spent his nights there, he only went home because of Zola. She needed the routine but he had trouble getting it down without Meredith.

/

"Meredith?" He asked quietly. When she recognized her voice, she searched with her eyes for him and tried to speak. Then she noticed the endotracheal tube in her mouth and immediately began fighting it. "Meredith. Calm down. Everything is going to be okay. I will page Bailey, she will be here in a minute."

"Shepherd, you paged?"

"She is awake." Derek said grinning, his hand gripping hers. "Can we take her off the ventilator?"

After a quick exam, Dr. Bailey extubated her. Meredith coughed as Bailey removed the tube. "Dr. Grey. Nice to have you back. You gave us quite the scare, especially Karev. He'll be glad to hear you're awake." She said. After checking his vitals again, she left the room to give them their privacy.

"Derek?" She asked, his voice hoarse. "I am here." She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. "Don't ever do that again, Meredith Grey. I thought I lost you forever."

"There is something else you need to know." Derek smiled happily. He was for the first time since the accident.

"We got Zola back. She is ours now." Derek saw Meredith's eyes lighting up.

"She is?"

"She is." Derek confirmed. In this moment, Lexie entered the ICU. She brought Zola with her. She had cleared it with Bailey (normally babies and children weren't allowed in the ICU when not patients but they decided to screw the ICU regulations. They were all doctors here.)

"Look who I brought." She said. "I thought you both should have some time with her."

Lexie smiled at her sister. "I was worried about you."

"I am alive." Meredith replied, her eyes twinkling. "You are and we're all glad about that."

/

"I love you." He suddenly said.

Meredith smiled and squeezed Derek´s hand. "Give me a real kiss." She demanded playfully. Derek leaned over him and kissed her softly on the mouth. "Me too. I love you."

Soon, their life with Zola and as a family would begin and they were looking forward to it.


End file.
